


Aftermath

by The Miss Paramount (Hanamuraki)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Angst?, Drinking, Five Stages of Grief, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanamuraki/pseuds/The%20Miss%20Paramount
Summary: Based on a tweet by @decayofanova on Twitter.“I will buy you your first drink and then we will dance. You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to. You can just pretend I’m him, okay?”Takuto Maruki dances with Ren, wishing things were different.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Maruki Takuto & Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Nova for letting me use her idea from her post. Give her amazing work a follow!
> 
> Also, infinite thanks to my friend GreyPigeon for her neverending support.

“You don’t look half bad, Dr. Maruki,” Futaba said as she handed him a cup of coffee. “Ren will be ready in a few minutes. Yusuke brought him home later than we agreed to, but he’ll be ready soon.”

“Thank you so much for the coffee, Futaba.” Takuto still had that reassuring and gentle smile, just that it was significantly harder for him to make it look like a sincere one. “How’s school?”  
“It’s going good, doc!” she smiled. “I’ll be all caught up with the rest very soon! What about you? Are you okay?”  
Takuto put his cup back on the counter and pretended to fix his tie. He knew that probably combing his hair back was not the best idea so he left it as it was. There was no need for black dye.   
“I’m fine.” That was a lie. “You said that Ren went out with Yusuke?”  
“Yes! Yusuke needed some help with his art supplies and Ren could use a distraction.” Futaba poured another cup of coffee for Takuto. “You don’t have to lie. You suck at that.”

What did she want him to say anyway? That he felt absolutely terrible for being the reason Ren needed distraction from his memories? That it was fault Akechi wasn’t there anyway? He didn’t even understand why he was sitting in Leblanc wearing a suit, waiting for Ren, who probably felt too miserable to come downstairs.

“I think I should probably get going.” Takuto smiled kindly and left some money on the counter.  
“Maruki-san… I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

Ren Amamiya still had the face of a person who had lived through too many things. Takuto could feel his eyes burning a way through him and examining every little piece of his soul. They felt electric, but they also felt like the cold wind on a rainy night. He was wearing a black turtleneck and a beige trenchcoat. Takuto felt very small for a moment.

“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t apologize. Do you still want to go?”  
“Yes.” There was no doubt in his voice.  
“We’ll be back in the morning if it gets too late,” Takuto said. “Ready?”  
“Yes.” Ren didn’t want to talk. 

The drive to the restaurant was almost eternal. The snow was melting and the air felt crispy and white. Ren’s nose was red but Takuto wasn’t sure it was because of the cold or because he had spent too many hours crying. 

Sometimes, the Phantom Thieves would call Takuto at odd hours, trying to find the best way to comfort Ren. 

He didn’t mind talking to them, trying to explain grief is a process with so many stages and people would find their rhythm and move from one stage into another.

He had been in denial for some time. He firmly believed Akechi would come back. He did once, he could do twice. Then he was angry, like never before. The cold rage stormed the Amamiya household in the countryside and Ryuji got there the morning after only to find Ren sleeping in the middle of the living room, broken glass and blood scattered around. 

Then he negotiated. That part became tricky to follow. Ren would try to piece Akechi’s life together, as if recreating his steps during certain situations would bring him back. He had infiltrated the new SIU’s director office, looking for at least a glimpse of hope that could only to almost get caught. Despite the fact that his connections to Akechi were dubious at best, he negotiated with them: giving them strange materials he had found in the Metaverse in exchange for information for him to research. 

Then he turned 18 and depression settled in like an unwanted guest. It followed everywhere he went and Takuto Maruki knew this better than anyone: he hadn’t moved from it either. The boredom of everything settled and he carried on with his life. His body was somehow able to finish high-school, to keep the store clean and earn a stable wage and find options to go to college.  
But the sentiment of dread never went anywhere. Takuto himself knew this better than anyone else. He wasn’t able to move on either, ever.

Ever. 

“Maruki-san?” The almost infinite gulf between them closed a little. Ren had finally spoken. “Where are we going?”  
“I promised you a fancy restaurant and that’s what you’re getting. It was your birthday in January, right?”  
“Yes, it was.” Ren removed his gloves and Takuto recognized them as perfect imitations of the ones Akechi used to wear.  
“That means you can drink now.”

Ren laughed. It was not a pretty laugh but it was the most sincere laugh he had heard since Akechi died.

The restaurant was one of the fancier ones. Not the kind that could put Takuto in severe debt again but expensive enough to reduce his diet for the rest of the month to cup noodles and Jagariko. 

“Feel free to order whatever you want from the menu.” Takuto smiled as he gestured at the waiter. “Can you bring us a bottle of wine to start with?”  
“Are you eating something too, Maruki-san?”  
“Sure am. Just not sure what.”  
“I’ll have the smoked salmon.” Ren said, he was smiling. It was not a mean smirk.  
Takuto gestured at the waiter again and he took their order. On top of the wine, Takuto ordered a gin tonic. Shibusawa always called him out on that but he always resorted to the same drink, even after Rumi forgot about him, even after things went wrong. 

“What’s that?”  
“This?” Takuto tipped his drink at Ren. “It’s a gin tonic.”  
Ren looked at him and ate his food in silence.   
“You know what day is today, right?”

Takuto didn’t want to think about it. He knew perfectly. He remembered that on that same date, a couple of years ago, he was trying to calm himself before he met Rumi’s parents. He remembered having a gin tonic in his hands as he tried to make sense of his thoughts when talking to Shibusawa.

“It’s February 2nd.” Takuto looked at this watch.   
“It’s been two years.” Ren observed. “And I don’t know….”  
“I’m sorry, Ren.” Takuto said. He regretted the decision of choosing this restaurant when a ramen joint with beer could have done perfectly instead of trying to fight the urge to cry and apologize to Ren. “What do you want me to say?”

Ren’s eyes were fixed on his plate. Like a guilty child caught in the act, he looked at Takuto.

“Is there any chance I will see him again?”  
“Why are you asking that?”  
“When you brought him back… it was because I wished him to be back… Can’t you do the same again?”

Takuto had fixed his eyes on the dancefloor, where an elderly couple danced. Nobody was paying them attention, but they were there. They were their own sun and universe. They didn’t need to grieve for things that were not supposed to be.

He knew he couldn’t bring Akechi back again. He didn’t need to.

“I have tried to… date Yusuke.” Ren said. Takuto raised an eyebrow. He remained silent and tried to focus on finishing his drink. He knew perfectly where this was going. Kitagawa was compassionate, kind, smart. He was self-sacrificing. 

Takuto knew this too well. Yusuke Kitagawa was not stupid: despite how much he burned with desire for Ren, the fire was not enough to keep him warm. After all, he was not him.

“Ren, you’re an adult now. You guys are both adults. You know better than this, but you should probably stop looking for Akechi.”  
“You can’t bring him back, can you? Just for one night?”  
Ren’s eyes were enormous. They reflected the light of the candles. He was begging. The leader of the legendary Phantom Thieves was begging.

“You just turned 18 and I haven’t even gotten you a drink.”

Takuto looked at the elderly couple again. That could have been him and Rumi. That could have been Ren and Akechi if he hadn’t fucked up.

“I will buy you your first drink and then we will dance. You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to. You can just pretend I’m him, okay?”  
“But…”  
“That’s all the extent of my power right now.” Takuto urged him. “That’s all I can do for you right now.”

Ren seemed lighter after his first drink. He smiled and closed his eyes.

Takuto grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dancefloor. The music felt light. There was a sad warmth in Ren’s eyes now.

“I practiced this because I wanted to do it with Rumi.” Takuto laughed sadly, pulling Ren closer. “Close your eyes and trust me. Move with me.”

Ren obeyed and for once, he enjoyed the fact that decisions were not completely up to him. Takuto Maruki danced slowly and certainly more deftly than he could have expected from a man who hit his head with the same microphone twice. They both knew they were people watching them: a tired thirty-something danced with a young man to some stupid song.

Holding each other closely.

So neither one fell apart.

Ren closed his eyes. For a moment, Takuto seemed to have slowed the time. 

For a moment, Ren didn’t blame him.

He smelled Goro Akechi in Takuto’s jacket. It smelled like coffee and crepes from that place in Kichijoji. The thing about missing someone is not the mind alone that misses it. Sometimes, it was a change in the air or how things tasted different, but in a familiar way.

Ren’s eyes were closed as he let Takuto move him across the dancefloor. 

“What about a drink now?”  
“Is that all? Can I have five more minutes with… him?”

The eyes were enormous, like the moon, like an empty plate. Like Rumi’s.

Like Akechi’s.

Takuto couldn’t say no.

Even when his head hurt and he was about to throw up, he let Ren savor the illusion for as long as his body let him. Finally, for Ren, there was acceptance blooming like a flower in the snow. 

Even when it was a lie, Ren smiled. He didn’t have to know.

Takuto didn’t have a second drink. He had to drive Ren back home and make sure he was safe before he went back to his apartment. Ren was thankful. For the dinner, for the first drink. For the dance. 

Before he left, Takuto whispered:

“You don’t have to wish for something that is already there.”

Ren sighed. He didn’t understand if what Takuto Maruki said was about Yusuke or about Akechi. It didn’t matter.

As Takuto drove home, the snow fell slowly on the ground. The streets were lonely. It was almost three in the morning. He opened the door slowly and looked at the small balcony. 

“You’re going to freeze there.”

There was no answer. The snow fell slowly but the young man didn’t move. His hair swayed with the cold wind.

“You know? You were supposed to be the one to teach Ren Amamiya how to dance.”


End file.
